Advertisement
This ad is displayed using third party content and we do not control its accessibility features.
Close Banner
Advertisement
This ad is displayed using third party content and we do not control its accessibility features.

Why Introverts Maintain Deeper Friendships, From A Social Scientist

Hannah Frye
Author:
December 23, 2023
Hannah Frye
Assistant Beauty & Health Editor
By Hannah Frye
Assistant Beauty & Health Editor
Hannah Frye is the Assistant Beauty Editor at mindbodygreen. She has a B.S. in journalism and a minor in women’s, gender, and queer studies from California Polytechnic State University, San Luis Obispo. Hannah has written across lifestyle sections including health, wellness, sustainability, personal development, and more.
Should Friends Ask Before Unloading Their Problems on Each Other
Image by BONNINSTUDIO / Stocksy
December 23, 2023
We carefully vet all products and services featured on mindbodygreen using our commerce guidelines. Our selections are never influenced by the commissions earned from our links.

I don’t know about you, but I feel like introverts are often given a bad social rap. The general attitude is that extroverts are just better at relationships and community, whereas introverts struggle. For the record, that assumption could not be more false.

Social scientist, author, and professor Arthur Brooks, Ph.D. agrees: As he shares on a recent episode of the mindbodygreen podcast, oftentimes introverts actually have the leg up when it comes to deep connections. Allow him to explain.

Do introverts make deeper friendships?

Introverts have a special talent, says Brooks: creating deep, lasting connections beyond family and romance. 

Introverts tend to do better [at] maintaining real friendships as life gets complicated," he notes. See, rather than embracing everyone around them, "introverts are really good at deep loving friendships with two or three people,” he adds.

Extroverts, on the other hand, make friendships with ease, given their more outgoing nature. But as Brooks notes, they may be "always looking for fresh meat," meaning they may have less time and energy to invest in their deeper relationships.

Now, this doesn’t mean that extroverts are flakey or bad friends; it just means they may have an easier time making new connections and find it more challenging tending to the friendships they have over time. It's just a natural part of the personality type Brooks has noticed over the years, and it's not a bad thing!

But given the emerging research on close friendships and happiness, longevity, and physical health1, it might be worth taking a page out of the introverts' playbook here. Brooks (an extrovert himself) shares he likes to take inspiration from the introverts in his life when it comes to deepening relationships; we can all learn from each other.

How to maintain & deepen your friendships

The assignment: Water your "friendship plants." This directive looks different for each person and each friendship, but here are some basic tips to help brainstorm your next move, especially if you’re an extrovert who struggles in this area:

  • Call your friends: Don’t have time to hang out this week? A quick 10-minute phone call or weekly catch-up can help you stay connected, even when your schedule is packed.
  • Make easy plans: Whether it’s coffee, drinks, dinner, or just a walk in the park, make simple plans with your friends that foster opportunities for deep conversations. These events are often easier to stick to than extravagant itineraries. 
  • Go to social events together: As an extrovert, you probably have some kind of large gathering on the calendar, so why not bring a close friend? You can grab dinner or travel together beforehand for some one-on-one time before or after the event.

This is just the tip of the iceberg in terms of ways to deepen a friendship. To be fair, making friendships isn’t easy for many people, both introverted and extroverted alike, so give yourself grace in the process if you’re met with some hurdles.

The takeaway 

According to Brooks, introverts tend to have an easier time maintaining deep relationships, compared to extroverts who often find it easier to make new friends. For both parties, putting time and effort into existing connections is certainly energy well spent. For more on the "macronutrients" of happiness (connection included) tune into the full episode below!

Watch Next

Enjoy some of our favorite clips from classes

Watch Next

Enjoy some of our favorite clips from classes

What Is Meditation?

Mindfulness/Spirituality | Light Watkins

Box Breathing

Mindfulness/Spirituality | Gwen Dittmar

What Breathwork Can Address

Mindfulness/Spirituality | Gwen Dittmar

The 8 Limbs of Yoga - What is Asana?

Yoga | Caley Alyssa

Two Standing Postures to Open Up Tight Hips

Yoga | Caley Alyssa

How Plants Can Optimize Athletic Performance

Nutrition | Rich Roll

What to Eat Before a Workout

Nutrition | Rich Roll

How Ayurveda Helps Us Navigate Modern Life

Nutrition | Sahara Rose

Messages About Love & Relationships

Love & Relationships | Esther Perel

Love Languages

Love & Relationships | Esther Perel

Related Videos (10)

What Is Meditation?

Box Breathing

What Breathwork Can Address

The 8 Limbs of Yoga - What is Asana?

Two Standing Postures to Open Up Tight Hips

How Plants Can Optimize Athletic Performance

What to Eat Before a Workout

How Ayurveda Helps Us Navigate Modern Life

Messages About Love & Relationships

Love Languages

Advertisement
This ad is displayed using third party content and we do not control its accessibility features.

More On This Topic

more Health
Advertisement
This ad is displayed using third party content and we do not control its accessibility features.
Advertisement
This ad is displayed using third party content and we do not control its accessibility features.