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Think You're Aromantic? Find Out With This 15-Question Quiz
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If you've never been one to crush on strangers, fantasize about your wedding day, or flip for romantic gestures, you might be wondering why you don't experience romantic attraction the way others seem to.
Just as sexuality and sexual attraction exist on a spectrum, so, too, does romantic attraction. At one end, you have people who are super into romance and falling in love with "the one," and on the other, you have people who don't experience much, if any, romantic attraction at all.
This is known as being aromantic or "aro," and we created a quick quiz to help you figure out if you are.
Aromantic Test
What does it mean to be aromantic?
An aromantic person refers to someone who experiences little to no romantic attraction for other people, according to licensed marriage therapist Janice R. Miles, LMFT.
As she explains, "These individuals lack the desire to be in romantic relationships or engage in romantic acts with others. These acts can include any activity, such as holding hands, kissing, or cuddling, that is done with romantic intent."
The term, also sometimes called aro, was first coined by the Asexual Visibility and Education Network in 2005.
While aromantic people can still enjoy sex, and even dating, they don't place the same priority on the romantic component of relationships, preferring to stay in the realms of friendship, platonic love, personality compatibility, and sometimes, sexual attraction or eroticism.
As sexologist Carol Queen, Ph.D., adds, it's important to note that some people think aromantic people don't have feelings, can't love someone, and/or can't make a relationship work—but this is a misconception. We tend to think of certain aspects of traditional relationships and marriage as "normal," but the truth is, everyone experiences sex and romance uniquely.
What to do with your results
So you're aromantic—now what? First things first: It is totally OK to be aromantic, and you can still have meaningful, enriching relationships, even without a romantic component.
It's also important to note that aromanticism exists on a spectrum. You could be closer to the aromantic end of the spectrum but still experience romantic desire or a desire for love sometimes.
The aromantic spectrum is also separate from the sexuality spectrum and the gender spectrum, so someone who is aromantic could identify as straight, gay, bi, or any other sexual identity—as well as trans, nonbinary, or any kind of gender identity, according to Queen.
What really matters if you are, in fact, aromantic, is that you are straightforward about your feelings with the people you date. As Queen adds, be as clear as possible about what you're looking for so you can find compatible partners who can appreciate your wants, focuses, boundaries, etc.
And if you encounter pressure from someone who doesn't understand the way you experience relationships, she recommends saying something like, I really feel like you're pressuring me to want the kind of relationship I don't actually want.
FAQ:
What are signs that I am aromantic?
Someone signs that you are aromantic include not experiencing crushes, not desiring a romantic relationship, not relating to love songs or romantic movies, and being turned off by flirting and romantic gestures.
Can you fall in love if you are aromantic?
Yes, aromantic people can absolutely experience love, it just does not have the romantic component we tend to associate with relationships as "normal" and tends to be more platonic.
What is Cupioromantic?
Cupioromantic refers to someone who wants a romantic relationship but does not feel romantic attraction.
The takeaway
Regardless of your sexuality and romantic preferences, remember that labels aren't necessary if you don't resonate with any one in particular. But if you do feel like you resonate with the "aromantic" label, that's great—congratulations on your self-discovery!
In any case, romantic attraction is a nuanced and ever-evolving part of being human, with or without a label. What counts is listening to your heart, understanding yourself, and honoring your truth.
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