I Tested The 8 Best Dating Sites & Apps For Serious Relationships

Pros

Cons

As someone who has been looking for a serious relationship for several years, it was exciting to see a dating app with so much success matching singles. When I signed up for the app, however, I struggled with the quiz. I couldn’t relate to the majority of questions they asked.

For example, one of the quiz questions is “What makes you most interested in someone?” The multiple choice answers were their career, financial security, health and fitness, warm-heartedness, or appearance, and I was required to pick two. While I can see how these are important elements for finding a long term partner for some people, they aren’t for me. Warm-heartedness was my first choice, but I couldn’t choose another as they all focus on external factors instead of getting to know someone on the inside, which is what’s important for me. 

Additionally, the activities they list, such as sailing, equestrian, shooting, and cricket, among others, also are not relatable for me. I don’t do any of these activities, and the things I do really enjoy, like slacklining, for example, are not listed (and there isn’t an option to write them in). Lastly, you have to report your income in the quiz, which doesn’t sit right for me as an element they use to determine who I’m compatible with.

Overall, the app feels geared toward traditional relationships and values. If these interests, values, and questions are important relationship criteria for you, however, this app could be a great fit. 

In our full eHarmony review, our testers felt it was a solid pick for those who were ready to "financially invest in finding a serious relationship," especially if other options simply aren't working for you.

A couple in their 50s who met on eharmony and have been married six years.

Pros

Cons

Upon creating a profile on Match, it was clear the site was geared toward serious relationships. While this is aligned with what I’m looking for, the app does not have features to filter for my specific relationship needs. 

For example, when asked your relationship status, the options are “definitely single,” “divorced,” or “widowed.” In fact, the app specifically states “no ‘it's complicated’ allowed.” While I understand the intention is trying to weed out people who might be in the middle of a divorce or break-up, I wish there was an option for non-monogamous daters. I’m looking for what I’d call a serious relationship: Marriage and someone to start a family with, but I’m still interested in an open relationship—and Match is not geared toward this. 

There were a few unique features I did thoroughly enjoy about Match. You can filter users by distance from a specific chosen location, as opposed to your current location. At the time I made my account, I was visiting family outside of my home city. I want to date someone locally, so it was nice that I could still chat and look at profiles of people near my home, even though I didn’t happen to be there at that moment. Since I visit my family regularly, this quickly becomes a convenient feature, however, I probably will delete Match because it doesn’t have options for non monogamy. 

Standard Membership

Premium Membership

Pros

Cons

Since I’m not 50 or over, I spoke with a friend who tried OurTime, and she said her favorite part of OurTime is that most of the users she saw had written a bio— there weren’t many blank profiles. Not just that, but people also described themselves in their own voice, which she said helped her connect with them.

My friend also commented on how much she likes the prompts users respond to on their profile, such as “I once got in trouble for” and “a secret only my pets know about me” or “if loving this is wrong, I don’t want to be right.” She was, however, disappointed that even though her preferences were set to “interested in everyone,” she was shown almost all men, and very few women. Additionally, one of the first questions the app asks when creating your profile is your height and body type, which she says made her comfortable. 

Subscription starts at $20 per month and increases depending on the payment plan.

Pros

Cons

Out of all the apps I tried, OkCupid is hands down my favorite dating app for serious relationships. Since creating a profile, it’s the app I check the most and had the most successful dates with. During the sign-up process, OkCupid asks so many detailed questions, making it much easier to find someone who I’m actually compatible with while I’m still on the app, as opposed to learning basic information on a date. 

While other dating apps like Match.com and eharmony do ask you to answer a long, detailed list of questions, OkCupid’s questions are far more relatable for me. Not just that, but on OkCupid, you have several opportunities to actually write-in your answers to questions, as opposed to choosing from a set list of hobbies or prompts. I found myself much more likely to go on dates with people from OkCupid because I can actually get to know people through their profiles.

I also love that there are so many options for you to describe your gender, sexuality, or other parts of your identities that a lot of other dating apps lack. One of the features I liked the most was the options for non monogamy. If you’re non monogamous, you can actually choose if you’re looking for someone who is single, partnered, or married. I really liked this because while I’m non monogamous, I am not looking for someone who is not partnered or married right now. I want to find a primary partner to build a family with, who is also interested in having an open relationship now or in the future. 

The only thing that I don’t like about OkCupid is that you have to click through several steps to get to someone’s entire profile.

OkCupid has tiered pricing.

Pros

Cons

I’ve been on Bumble for years and my favorite thing about this app is that women send the first message when you’re dating men. This has both made me feel much safer and limited invasive and rude comments, but it’s also reduced dating app fatigue. It’s far less exhausting because I’m not sifting through messages from random people I’m not interested in. I’m only having conversations with people that I actually want to talk to. 

I also love that Bumble has unique prompts, like “I’ll get along with you if…” or “I’m still not over…”. Thinking of opening messages can be exhausting, and when people have fun, quirky facts about themselves, I’m much more likely to build a connection with them and potentially go on a date. 

With that being said, I also see a lot of men on Bumble putting the bare minimum into their profiles. I was surprised by how many profiles I saw that barely had a bio or didn’t answer any prompts.

A couple in their 40s who matched on Bumble.

The free version of Bumble does the trick, but you can pay to unlock more features if you wish.

Pros

Cons

Similar to Bumble and OkCupid, I’ve found Hinge to be one of the best apps for getting to know people’s personalities and starting conversations with daters. I love that users can like one of my photos or comments and also tell me why they liked it. It’s far more engaging.

The app itself is simple and easy to use, and while Hinge might not be as well known as apps like eharmony or Match for serious relationships, I found it easy to filter for compatibility by simply swiping left on anyone who didn’t specify that they’re looking for a serious relationship.

Hinge has tiered subscriptions

Pros

Cons

While I didn’t try HER myself, I spoke to a few friends who did— we’ll call them Amara and Emma to keep their anonymity. Amara and Emma agreed on their favorite features of the app, but had mixed reviews otherwise. They love that with the free HER subscription, you can actually view everyone who likes you. “It makes the process speedier if you don't feel like swiping through people” says Emma. And Amara agreed, “I haven’t seen this feature for free on another app. It’s nice.” 

Amara added that she had a small dating pool in her area, which may be a result of living in a small rural town. While Emma didn’t have an issue with the number of people, she did get an overwhelming number of unnecessary notifications and there are several features she can’t access without a subscription. “I can’t set ANY preferences without premium so it’s a lot of labor in comparison to other apps.”

Even though this app is designed specifically for queer people, Emma says “I see all of the same people oh HER as I do other apps, so it doesn’t have much use to be honest.”

HER is free, and offers a Premium membership for $15 per month.

Pros

Cons

After creating a profile on JDate, I was surprised by how few people were in my area— there were typically only four to ten people online at the same time as me. I did, however, really like that you can define your Judaism. I chose “culturally Jewish” to describe myself and listed the same for who I’m looking for. This is big for me because the way someone practices Judaism can vary so much from person to person and also impacts who you’re compatible with.

I was disappointed that it didn’t look like people put much effort into their profiles. Most of the profiles I saw were blank or daters had barely written anything. The app sort of felt like a desert. This could, however, be a result of few culturally Jewish people in my area, and my radius was only set to 10 miles. I think the results might be different for someone with different dating preferences.